In the name of Allah
For the first t..i..m..e
For the first time and after more than fifty years of Nakba, I will enter my land. I had dreamt of such a delicate moment for a long time. I am now on the border waiting and thinking. Some seconds passed I, as a high palm, stood in the same location trying to remember my grandmother and how she was for a long time as a fish out of the Palestinian water. After a few minutes I will commence to look at my life with new eyes replaced my old pessimistic eyes with the new eye.
”Where will you go” the Israeli soldier at Tel-Aviv airport said angrily. I don’t know if I really know that I heard what he said or not. I don’t know if I really know where I want to go first or second or last. Will I kiss the land first or go to my grandmother’s grave? Again he repeated what was written above. ” Ah, where, to… Yaffa” I replied hesitantly. ”Jaffa” the soldier said as he didn’t want to hear the last word. ”Why” he completed and yelled at my face rapidly. ” To share in the economic meeting” I said courageously. Suddenly, someone interrupted our conversation. He is one of the green eyes’ boys. He came and talked in unknown language with the Israeli soldier. He looked at me in a bizarre language. I felt like I didn’t want to proceed.. I didn’t want to talk any more with that ugly and talkative ”person”. I miss Yaffa.
He started looking at me angrily as he knew I am Palestinian. I knew the secret of being Palestinian, but I didn’t want to tell anyone here. I was afraid. I felt like my face turned to the color of hot red.
I know that my dream will soon attain either in Prison or in Yaffa beside the tree which was planted by my grandmother.
But I really wonder why I put my self in this shoes. Maybe I will be beside Ahlam Altameemy, Khahera Alsa’di, Doa’ Aljaiosy and others in Aldamon or in Hasharon, Israeli prisons, after less than seconds.
Had Yaffa trapped me in love of the land. Was it possible that I was falling into the habit of love my self, my grandmother, the land, the tree, and Palestine -allPalestine-.
For the first time, I will see and admire the flowery land. I will for the first time put in the trap of my grandmother’s smile when I notice her tree.
Finally, Israelwill lost; I will win
For the first time, I am at the peak of happiness. I will see my grandmother tree. I will see her rose from the death. she will say ” I am still alive beside my life”. I now see her. She is too jubilant and I am too. I am still thinking while dreaming.
How will I be for the first time enlivened and relaxed when I enter!
I couldn’t imagine that I am behind Yaffa now. If I enter Yaffa, I will plant nothing else but the fact of love and root out every thing else. I will kiss the land which I used to see every time beside my bed in that big picture. I will drink from that lake and its fresh and clean water.
It is clearer than crystal that it is the best of time and it is the season of lightness.
Now and through my dream, my health is up, and sickness are down
But why do they torture me a lot. Why don’t they give me an access to enter until now. I came to Tel-Aviv airport at 8 a: m fromSyria and now it is 11:35 a.m. I am still standing. My legs seem to be broken and my body too. All of what I have experienced now is just for the sake of the land of honey and milk.
Again shall I be at the peak of happiness since I will do my grandmother’s testament.
I woke up of my dream. But I must be now in Yaffa! Yet I am still Palestinian.
I am now arrested.
This will be the beginning of my story.